Dreading phone calls
I hate that I am feeling scared once again because of a loan that isn’t even mine. I have felt this way before when I was having problems with my credit cards. I used to dread getting a call from a collector or someone pretending to be a lawyer for the credit card company. I [...]
A wee bit guilty
Do you know that I feel somewhat guilty whenever I buy something pricey for myself? It’s like I feel I am not doing my obligation for the family. I feel that way whenever I indulge in something other than food. Years ago, we didn’t have that much. I must admit that we really struggled financially, [...]
Road to financial freedom?
A couple of years ago, I was neck-deep in debts. I didn’t know how I could get saved from drowning. There was no clear sign of how I could pay for the loans I incurred over the years. And then I quit working for a corporation. It seemed that instead of the fear I usually [...]
No other choice but…
I have no other choice but to join the rat race again. With this new worry, I don’t think I can stop the inevitable from happening. Plus there are more issues in my head that will just be sorted out if I go back. I am worried I will end up paying a loan I [...]
Carrying a grudge
I just realized that I am also capable of holding a grudge. Do you know how I realized it? Whenever I talk about my mom’s aunt, I get so angry! I just couldn’t get over the belittling they all did to my mom and us when I was younger. I haven’t forgotten all those begging [...]
My life now…
I need to be always in front of the computer. That’s my life now. If I want to earn and continue working at home, I need to tell myself to stay put and do what I need to do. I can’t be lazy. I can’t procrastinate forever! I need to devote my time to writing [...]
Winning the jackpot
I don’t bet on the lottery, or in any thing at all. I am not into that. My dad, on the other hand, bets on the lottery every night. I don’t know if it’s appropriate at all but I do pray that my dad would win the jackpot. Imagine paying off every single debt we [...]
Broken piggy bank
I spent all my savings already. My piggy bank looks like this now… Yes, not pretty to look at. Hobbling. In fact, broken. I spent everything I had with the wake and the cremation. It was supposed to be used to buy me something else. But things happen and you just have to make do [...]
Balance in life
I need to find the balance in my life again. I can’t forever find myself going back from whence I came from. I cannot forever be in this cycle I once called life. I thought I managed to changed everything four years ago but I guess I haven’t really learned my lesson. Until yesterday, that [...]
How do you say NO?
How do you tell an uncle that you cannot let him borrow from you again and again because it just isn’t done? How do you tell that person that you are not a bank and that you don’t have a well of cash lying around in wait for someone to borrow it? How do you [...]
Troubled finances
For a couple of weeks now, I find myself struggling financially. It is again the by-product of bad planning on my part. This is the scenario I’ve been avoiding. And yet, I find myself in this situation again and again. It’s becoming a cycle I can’t get out of. It’s bad! I don’t want to [...]
Accountant who can’t budget :(
Truth is my number one fear is for an emergency to happen and I couldn’t even finance the hospital deposit. I am the breadwinner. I have this obligation to be in-charge. My fear is that I will fall short of the expectations of everyone around me. It’s stupid to even be thinking about it that [...]
Two savings account
I am thinking of opening two savings accounts under my name. One will be for my grandma, the other one for my dad. I won’t tell them about it. I just want something I can tap on should there be an emergency or an important expense for them comes up. I am just a bit [...]
Road trip, savings, priorities
I want to go on a road trip but I can’t do it right now. I am saving up to buy two new laptops. I am also depositing money for my grandma’s expenses. I don’t know where to get funds should there be an emergency regarding my grandma and I want to be prepared for [...]
Comfortable life
All I ever wanted is to have a comfortable life. I don’t dream of becoming uber rich. Just to have more than enough for emergencies and some indulgences, mostly travel-related. In fact, the house I want is a small one, possible just a bungalow or with a mezzanine/second floor, if it can’t be helped. I [...]
Money and my fear
Money comes and goes. Most of the time, it stays with me for only a very short period of time. I live from hand to mouth. I always try to save up but something comes up and I had no choice but to use what little savings I have. I would like to change that [...]
The worries never end
My grand-aunt called up this morning while I was still asleep. She told my dad that my grandma, my mom’s mom, is not eating much these past few days. When she eats, the food goes back up. Of course, when my dad relayed the news to me, I started worrying. My grandma is a diabetic. [...]
Change of strategies
Whenever we encounter any worry at home, I always feel this overwhelming need to solve it for the family. I don’t like them worrying. I don’t want any discord at home over something. Yesterday, because of the raging storm, we realized that the roof is now a bit rotten. It needs to be replaced. Instead [...]
Thanks!
Thank you. Sometimes, I don’t specifically say prayers except thanks. I know it’s enough for Him to know what I am talking about. I always pray for three things: safety, health and finances. This is for the whole family and every one that I love. And then the rest of my praying time is focused [...]
Rant blog
If you will notice, this blog is my rant blog. I have a more “public” blog where I share more positive thoughts. I need a blog where only a few people know me and where I can vent my anger on people around me. Thus this blog. And the reason why the title of the [...]
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