Rant blog
If you will notice, this blog is my rant blog. I have a more “public” blog where I share more positive thoughts. I need a blog where only a few people know me and where I can vent my anger on people around me. Thus this blog. And the reason why the title of the [...]
Going sentimental
I just go sentimental when I hear Water Runs Dry by Boyz II Men. If I remember it correctly, this song was always played during those times that I was down and out. So when I hear it, I somehow get transported back in time. Come to think of it, I get sentimental in every [...]
Memories from the ICU
For some reason, memories from the ICU the night before my mom died flashed back in my mind. I saw her suffer from heart attack a few minutes after she was wheeled in from her suite. I can still hear her calling my name while medical attendants were transferring her to the ICU. She was [...]
Old age?
Is this a sign of growing older each passing day? Lately, I realized that I get hurt easily. I mean my feelings get easily offended. This person, who I thought I was really close to, have been snubbing me for some reason known only to him. I thought he was just busy. But you know [...]
Crossroads
I’m currently at a crossroads. I am torn between going back to the world I once knew and continuing with the world I am in right now. I don’t want to go back to the way I once was, always worried when the next paycheck will come, always worried that I might not have enough [...]
Heavy dreams
For several days now, I kept on dreaming about things that made me feel bad. Like one time, I woke up with a heavy heart because in my dream, my uncles and aunts taunted me and my dad for praying. In another dream, I woke up totally pissed off about something I already forgot. And [...]
Stressed? Eat!
Do you deal with stress by having a good cry or by eating? Unfortunately, I deal with stress by eating. A lot. That’s why I have been battling weight loss for years now. I deal with stress, frustrations, problems, worries and a whole slew of negative emotions by eating. A few years ago, I had [...]
Brimming with tears
There are days when I just feel like crying for no apparent reason. Probably hormones. You can feel this surge of emotions that you can’t control. You can scarcely breathe and all of a sudden, you can feel hot tears flowing down your face. Your eyes are brimming with tears and you can’t see a [...]
In the pain, there is healing…
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing With a broken heart that’s still beating [...]
Fed up!
It’s hard being the eldest. I always have to be the role model. I always have to toe the line. I always have to be patient and understanding. I always have to be the one to give in. You know, I am not the type of person to shirk from any responsibility given to me. [...]
Mirrored image
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see a person smiling back at you, happy with her the way her life is going? Or do you see a person with a frown on her face, sadness in her eyes, constantly worrying about her life and plainly unsatisfied with everything? To [...]
Cobwebs under a pew
I was looking down while I was in church this evening. My mind was drifting. I am murmuring prayers randomly. I was looking down when I saw the cobwebs under the pew in front of me. It triggered something inside me. For some reason, the boredom and laziness I am feeling for the past few [...]
Never think…
When you ignore someone, it doesn’t mean that you are not aware of that person. In fact, you are more aware of him more than anybody else. I speak from experience. I ignore him because of what I thought I felt. There are no more left but it would be better to make a clean [...]
Anger in my heart
It was almost 3 in the morning. My sister and I were talking about a lot of things. It turned to the topic of finances. When it hit me, I am one angry person. I was so angry at so many things that when I start on one, I could go on and on and [...]
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