Crossroads

Posted on June 24, 2009 | 3 Comments

I’m currently at a crossroads. I am torn between going back to the world I once knew and continuing with the world I am in right now. I don’t want to go back to the way I once was, always worried when the next paycheck will come, always worried that I might not have enough for the next few days.

Back in my old world, I always worry about the next day. I have this fear of waking up penniless. I have this fear of going back to the old me asking for help from anyone who would listen. I hated that part of my life. Yes, it made me stronger and I learned so much from that period. But I wouldn’t want to experience again the shame of asking/begging for help from others.

I gained so much from the new world I am now in. But slowly, the resources are dwindling down. I am thinking of fusing the two worlds and getting the best out of both. Easy enough, right?

The thing is, I am afraid of changing the status quo. I’m scared silly of stepping back into the world I left behind more than two years ago. For one, I’ve so much to learn again. Another is that I am so used to the way I am right now. Sigh.

I am leaning more on the fuse. I have to make a decision by Saturday night. I am asking the advice of friends and so far, everyone’s for going back to the old world.

Soon.

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